To mark Mental Health Awareness Week (15th to 21st May) Mental Health First Aid trainer, Andy Elwood, talks about suicide and busts some of the myths surrounding it.
Suicide is not part of normal conversation. And, because of this, a lot of myths have built up. There are quite a few of them but I will address three of them here.
The biggest myth I want to address is the idea that if we talk about suicide to someone we’re worried about, that we’ll be sowing a seed in their mind, and that we may be encouraging them to end their life by suicide. And that is absolutely not true. Talking to them about suicide has been proven to be the best thing to do; to have an open, honest conversation about suicide in a caring and compassionate way.
Ask the direct question
In Mental Health First Aid, we teach and encourage people to ask a direct question about suicide, and to use the word suicide if they’re spotting any warning signs, because it’s a lifesaving question to ask.
The person involved may be having a one-way monologue in their head and may feel all their options are closing down. They may believe the only way out of their situation, is to end their life by suicide. And by asking directly if they’re thinking about suicide gives them a way out of this cycle. It’s like an emergency exit, where you bang the bar on that door and get outside into the fresh air. They’re now having a two-way conversation with you, a more open dialogue and some fresh air and seeing another perspective. So, it’s a lifesaving question to ask directly about suicide.
If they’ve talked about it, they won’t do it
The second myth I want to highlight is people who talk about suicide won’t go through with it; they won’t act on what they’ve talked about. Anyone talking about death, dying, suicide, people would be better off without them, people wouldn’t miss them if they’re gone, any sign of helplessness, hopelessness or feeling that they’re trapped is a real warning and should ring alarm bells for us.
It’s important to talk about these things with them and find out more about what they’re thinking and whether they have a plan. If they have a suicide plan, then they are more at risk. Often though, these thoughts are unwanted and have come at a time of high stress.
These thoughts are common, as stats show that 20% of the UK population have had thoughts of suicide. It’s OK to tell a person this so that they don’t feel so alone. It’s a priority for Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) training to cover how to talk to someone about suicide to help them offload and then to create a ‘support plan’ that works for them about positive actions to take when they feel overwhelmed again, or the urge to act on their thoughts of suicide.
Suicidal thoughts will always be there
And finally, a person who has had suicide thoughts will always have these suicide thoughts. That’s just not true. These thoughts are temporary, and they will pass. They last a different length of time for different people, but it often comes to the fore when someone’s experiencing a really difficult time, such as when there’s a real spike in the level of stress they have in their life. They may have thoughts of suicide as one possible option out of this situation which seems so painful, difficult or beyond their coping strategies or problem-solving capabilities.
Help is always at hand. Samaritans offers a free 24/7 helpline. Just call 116 123 to speak to someone. Or if you’d rather contact someone by text you can get support from the Shout text service. Again, it’s free and available 24/7. Just text ‘SHOUT’ to 85258.
About Andy
Andy Elwood is a Mental Health First Aid instructor and an ambassador for Movember. He creates safety and trust by sharing his own vulnerability and gives a unique ‘behind the scenes’ insight into life and death situations from his 20 years’ experience working in the emergency services as a paramedic on search and rescue helicopters.
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